Dearest readers,
Recently the Wheaton Wire published a truly obscene column which encourages — nay, demands! — students to get hot and heavy in totally inappropriate places all around campus!
Did no one at the Wire attend cotillion?
Anyway. Wesendonk begged me, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, to provide you with a more refined list.
So, without further ado: Classy Spots For Taking It Up The Cornhole, At Wheaton College, In Norton, Massachusetts By me, Elizabeth Cady Stanton. HERE WE GO!
1. Inside of Cow Duck.
2. In an ambulance, on the way to Sturdy.
3. On top of a Super Nachos (or whatever) from the Loft.
4. At 5 Taunton (PARTY AT 5 TAUNTON TONIGHT! GO! QUICKLY QUICKLY QUICK QUICK QUICK! YOU TOO FRESHMAN. DEFINITELY YOU! OH DEFINITELY YOOOUUU!)
5. In your Wheaton mailbox.
6. In a professor’s office, during his or her office hours, when he or she isn’t looking! LOL
7. In Chase between 2-5 PM, when there is no food at all.
Sincerely Yours,
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Tags: molly easo smith, norton, sex and the dimple, sex and the dimple is dumb, sexy sex sex sexy sex!, Wheaton College, wheaton college is gross